Ribbons Of Color by Aingeal Rose
You know, in the half light of no color, in that place between sleep and wakefulness, sometimes there are gems of wisdom. Hi, my name is Ahonu. I’d like you to listen to Aingeal Rose’s deepest inner thoughts as she emerges from that deep place of wisdom within herself.
This piece is called Ribbons of Color, and this is how the story goes. I was lying on my bed this afternoon reading my Facebook pages, and Ahonu started playing different songs. Most of them were ballads or sad songs and I was getting annoyed. I was annoyed because I thought, are there any songs that aren’t sad? Why does sorrow take such center stage in music?
But as I listened to these songs, as sad as they were, I also noticed how beautiful the guitar music was. This guitar, the sound of it was bright and distinct, beautiful and colorful. This guitar accompanied the song made the music beautiful. So for a moment, I just let myself listen to the music of these songs without trying to push them away. Each song, one after the other, was sad or melancholic in its own way. Whether it was the story of a history of the country or a romance or somebody who is lonely, they went deep into my heart, and for the first time in so long, I let myself feel the full range of the sorrow without trying to get rid of it, or without being angry at it. Because what was happening was, there was an interesting combination between the sad words and the beautiful music. It was almost as if the beauty of sorrow was making itself known to me.
And so this continued until my husband Ahonu called me for dinner. And I went out into the living room and he was still playing music. The ballads were still sad, and they were original artists singing different songs, but every one of them was sorrowful in its own way. What was happening is I was becoming deeper and deeper into a state of absolute bliss because for the first time in so many years, I let myself embrace the sorrow. I let myself feel it, and feel the beauty of it, which I never saw before.
I knew that something was healing in me because I saw how it all created ribbons of colors. It’s like each person’s life was a song. Each person’s life was a stream of colors, waving in the breeze of life. Every experience and every moment was so precious because it added to these ribbons of color. They were all beautiful. They were all meaningful. Every one had its exquisite beauty to it.
I was listening to the wide range of feelings of the human, the depths of feelings of the human — how it can go from tremendous depths of sorrow to such beauty in music. Such exquisite creations and I saw words coming out of people’s mouths and they were like songs. And the whole thing was flowing — a person’s essence was flowing, like I say, in ribbons of color. Its whole life and all its lifetimes were one movement of song and color. Each piece fitted into the next, and the next, and the next, and it flowed like beautiful water.
And I saw how each piece was rightly magnificent. Sorrow was as deep and beautiful a feeling of the heart and something extremely joyful, and everything in between, and how wonderful it was that the human can feel these things in its being. It has these wide range of colors and emotions and all of them are like a song to the creator. All of them are life.
It brought me back to the memory of my definition of the Akashic Records. What I wrote first was the Akashic Records are like streams of color. And it’s interesting that I say that because, when I was redoing my book and I looked at the definition, I thought, well, that’s kind of silly, isn’t it, to describe something as streams of colors? And now I understand. I understand why there are records because it’s the imprint of a soul in the universe. The beauty of each individual life creating harmony and song. Creating life, not outside itself, but as itself.
I sat there in a state of deep bliss and deep feeling and the feeling was deep sorrow, as well as the beauty and melody in voice. I also realized that this was a major part of my healing. Coming to these revelations was precipitated by the meditations we’ve created. Who knows?
When I was in a beautiful state of love and thought to myself, I’m finally knowing what God’s love is about and how beautiful it is. But I also realized why I’ve been so overweight most of my life, and sick. It’s because I’ve been denying these parts of me and denying the sorrow that’s been part of my makeup, that’s been part of my experience in life. I wanted to erase it, get rid of it. As if it was something plaguing me.
But as I was watching this and feeling this tonight, with other musicians who are also singing songs of sorrow, I realized that it’s a deep part of healing the human condition. Let’s just say it’s a deep part of feeling itself. To feel sorrow, to feel that kind of depth in your heart also borders bliss. Bliss, because it’s deep heart, it’s deep feeling. And all of it are ribbons of color.